Part IV

Parenting after Adoption

Once the infertile couple has adopted their child, they can finally begin the family life that they worked so hard to achieve.  Even though they are parents, some of the feelings left over from infertility may still surface.  The couple may have pangs of sorrow when they hear someone announce their pregnancy or read a birth announcement.  Baby showers and being around pregnant women may make them feel uncomfortable.  The couple may feel ashamed to have these feelings because they feel as if they should be completely gone now that they are parents.  For some people, parenthood does wipe the infertility feelings away.  But with most couples I meet, these feelings are present but to a lesser degree than when they were in infertility treatment.

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Part III

Entering the Adoption World

For couples who have been engrossed with infertility, entering the world of adoption can be overwhelming.  The couple is now an expert on infertility vocabulary, treatments, and medicines.  But as soon as they open a book on adoption, they feel lost by the new words like “home study,” “interstate compact,” “dossier,” and other adoption terms.  They will feel like they are starting over again at square one.  And unfortunately they are.

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Part II

Deciding on Adoption

For most couples who experience infertility, they have considered adoption somewhere along their journey. They may think it will be a realistic option, or they may not want to accept that it may be their only option someday, or they may know that they do not want to become parents through adoption. It’s possible that one person in the relationship may have strong feelings about adoption which is the opposite of their partner. These roles could change over the course of infertility treatments and these feelings should be reevaluated every few months.

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Part I

Understanding the Infertile Couple

I am going to describe the emotions associated with someone who goes through infertility. I have come across this information from three years of enduring treatments, attending a Women’s Infertility Support Group for two years and periodically leading a Women’s Infertility Support Group over the past few years.

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