Monthly Archives: June 2009

An Adoptive Parent is a Real Parent!!!

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There are many questions that are asked of myself and my children because we are a family formed through adoption. I knew this would happen when we chose to adopt and especially when we chose to adopt transracially. This does not mean that I am not still amazed by what words come out of strangers’ mouths when commenting on my family. I have learned how to handle most questions with dignity and am always in the process of teaching my children to do the same.

Most comments I understand are because many people are not properly educated about adoption. Why would they be unless they have been through the adoption process themselves? I was clueless about the facts of adoption up until I walked into my first Adoption Support Meeting and starting reading books on the topic. Yet when strangers use the word “real” in regards to adoptive families it strikes a nerve in those in the adoption community.

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Adopting Out of Your State

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When people are looking for an agency/lawyer for a domestic adoption, they often think locally.  This can sometimes limit them to options that don’t meet their needs.  The good news is that people can use any agency/lawyer based in the United States to handle their domestic adoption.  The bad news is that because there are so many more choices when you are looking throughout the United States, people need to do a lot more research to make sure they locate the best place for them to adopt a child. 

 

This research includes looking into the pros and cons of working with someone out of their state.  If they decide to select an out of state agency/lawyer, then they need to decide what state’s adoption laws they like the most.  As if the process of selecting an agency/lawyer wasn’t difficult enough, each of the 50 states has their own specific adoption laws that you must abide by if you use an agency/lawyer located within it. 

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Adopting with Children at Home

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Not everyone who pursues adoption is doing so for their first child. Many adoptive couples are parents already when they choose to adopt.  They may have one or more children that are biologically theirs. Or maybe the couple has adopted already and is doing it again. Going through the adoption process when you already have children in your home is a different experience.  It’s sometimes difficult for these parents to find the support they need as a lot of the adoption literature is geared for childless couples entering the adoption world.

 

As an adoptive parent of three I know firsthand that the adoption process is very different the second or third time around. I have many friends who adopted after having biological children or after previously adopting. We shared with one another how different the experience was and what we can teach other parents wishing to adopt.

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