Sometimes I feel like in my adoption articles I portray the more negative view of adoption. People may think you aren’t a “real” parent! Children may tease your daughter for looking different than you! Television shows portray adoptees as having severe emotional issues! I write about these things to prepare adoptive parents for any situation that may arise. My first adoption happened so quickly that I don’t feel like I got enough information beforehand to prepare me for awkward questions, conversations, looks and inaccurate assumptions about my children. I would hate for any other adoptive parent to feel the same way with their first child.
Recently, I have been telling myself to focus more on the positive aspects of adoption. Obviously I’m thrilled to be a parent through adoption and love my life with my children. Why do I need to prep prospective adoptive parents for insensitive situations? People are more welcoming of adoption than in the past. Transracial familial relationships are not uncommon anymore. Families are formed in all different ways and aren’t being hidden from the public eye.
Yet all it takes is one conversation with a stranger to remind me that I must always be ready to talk about adoption.
Continue reading A Conversation to Remember, Helping to Educate Those not in The Adoption Community
When you are in the process of adopting with a domestic agency you may meet someone else who is also a client of the same agency. Finding out this information can bring up some very different emotions. First, you may feel happiness and relief to talk to someone else in the process who truly “gets it.” You could discuss who in the agency has been helpful thus far, what roadblocks you may have faced or any other inside scoop on the agency you’re both using. Eventually though you may feel that you have just talked to your competition.
Both of your profiles may be viewed by the same potential birthparents. You may start to compare the two of you in your mind. “Well they are both planning on being working parents but I’ll stay home with our baby. So we should get picked first.” Or “They may get picked first because their family is local and ours is not. I bet potential birthparents would like their baby to have family around.” These emotions may sound petty but it’s hard to know if you’ll have them until you’ve been in the situation.
Continue reading Are You Competing for a Baby With Other Potential Adoptive Parents?
Not long ago, I asked my parents to write an article for this website. Having different points of view on adoption would be valuable for my readers. After reading their article below you’ll agree that I am very blessed to have parents who fully supported our adoptions without hesitation. I hope you have someone in your life as supportive as them during your journey. If you don’t yet, that doesn’t mean that you never will. Sometimes all it takes is some of your time to educate your loved ones about adoption. So be patient with them until they hopefully realize, like my parents did right away, that it is extremely easy and very rewarding to accept and love a child though adoption.
A Grandparents’ View
Our grandchildren are the cutest, smartest and most interesting children we’ve ever had the pleasure to love. Just ask and we’ll show you their photos in our wallets and on our cell phones. Got a minute and we’ll tell you the latest new words our youngest has mastered and what science project our oldest grandson is involved with. Are we any different from any other proud grandparents? We don’t think so. Does it matter that three of our grandchildren have been adopted? “Not at all” we’ll answer.
Continue reading Grandparents’ Perspective on Adoption