Not long ago, I asked my parents to write an article for this website. Having different points of view on adoption would be valuable for my readers. After reading their article below you’ll agree that I am very blessed to have parents who fully supported our adoptions without hesitation. I hope you have someone in your life as supportive as them during your journey. If you don’t yet, that doesn’t mean that you never will. Sometimes all it takes is some of your time to educate your loved ones about adoption. So be patient with them until they hopefully realize, like my parents did right away, that it is extremely easy and very rewarding to accept and love a child though adoption.
A Grandparents’ View
Our grandchildren are the cutest, smartest and most interesting children we’ve ever had the pleasure to love. Just ask and we’ll show you their photos in our wallets and on our cell phones. Got a minute and we’ll tell you the latest new words our youngest has mastered and what science project our oldest grandson is involved with. Are we any different from any other proud grandparents? We don’t think so. Does it matter that three of our grandchildren have been adopted? “Not at all” we’ll answer.
When our daughter and her husband told us that they were going to adopt a child we must admit we were somewhat relieved. After watching our daughter suffering through the IVF treatments and even having a miscarriage we were happy they had decided to adopt. At least at the end of the adoption process they would have a child. But the child wouldn’t be a blood relation! Actually, this fact never occurred to us. Our only thought was:”Yes! Finally, a new baby in our family. Time to buy baby clothes, knit baby hats, and get a new digital camera.”
Our daughter did tell us they had decided to ask the adoption agency to consider their adopting a child whose parent or parents were of Hispanic ethnicity. Our blond, blue-eyed daughter might have children with black hair and brown eyes! Oh well, such is life. And, quite honestly, that’s the last we thought of the race issue. Having a baby was all that mattered. Fortunately, we didn’t have to wait for very long.
Only a few weeks after finishing up the paperwork our daughter and her husband were notified that they were paired with a birth family. Our daughter’s in-laws and we tried not to be anxious pests during the time before the baby was born. We both wanted frequent updates on everything but held down the number of phone calls to our daughter. It was not an easy task. But we were included on all the important updates and then our job was to tell the news to all of our respective concerned relatives. This kept all the calls to her at a minimum and we know she appreciated this.
We only had a two-month wait for our grandson although it seemed like forever. Since the adoption was out of state our first view of our new grandson was at the St. Louis Airport. Both sets of Grandparents were waiting and there were tears all around as we all held the little guy for the first time. It was love at first sight for each grandparent. Bonding with our new grandson was never an issue either since he was, of course, the most beautiful baby we’d ever seen.
He is seven years old now and has two other siblings who were adopted. We are having fun doing all the things grandparents do with their grandchildren – trips to the zoo, to the movies, walks in the park – and loving every minute of it. If we get stares from people who seem bothered by the fact that the children’s skin is darker than ours, we haven’t noticed and we certainly don’t care because we’re having too much fun with them. If someone disapproves of our family it’s their problem and we actually do feel sorry for them. We have no time for disapproval, like we said before, we are having too much fun.
One point we would like to emphasize is to make sure you know what your grandchildren have been told about their open adoption and their birth parents. If they ask you questions you want to have the answers that won’t confuse them.
Our only regret at this point is that we live so far from our grandchildren. We are looking forward to retirement when we can spend more time with them. In the meantime, do you want to see some photos of our grandchildren?
Diane and Jerry
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Danielle I. Pennel
Three Yellow Roses
www.threeyellowroses.com
Awe! This is such a cute article! Sounds just like what my parents would write too. My mom is head over heels in love with our daughter and her beautiful dark, or as they say, “perfect” complexion. Good job grandma and grandpa!
I so appreciate and congratulate you on this article. I adopted my daughter from China in 2006. As my family is Chinese–we get no questions from the public–so we talk about it with her teacher, her classmates–everyone who is in her life. Her story is so important–we talk about it all the time. Adoption is often seen as a secret–people are often embarrassed to ask. We must have the courage to tell the story as a victory! Thanks for your thoughtful remarks.