Comments on: Using the “Adoption” Card http://www.threeyellowroses.com/2011/02/02/using-the-adoption-card/ All about Adoption, Support and Information Sat, 19 May 2012 02:13:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: Talor http://www.threeyellowroses.com/2011/02/02/using-the-adoption-card/comment-page-1/#comment-15396 Talor Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:34:35 +0000 http://www.threeyellowroses.com/?p=785#comment-15396 I am 15 and I AM adopted. I was reading this article in hopes for some insight. I have maintained a relationship with my birth family and have continually visited them for periods of time. On my last visit I realized something. I didn't want to come back to my family. I had always known my adoptive life was better for me but as I grew up and matured I realized that they AREN'T my "real" family and to me they never will be. My birth family asked me to stay and I am trying to figure out the legalities of it. Someone told me I had to be 16 and get papers signed by my adoptive parents and then I can live with them. If ANYBODY knows the answer to this it would be greatly appriciated because I truly want to live with my birth family. Its not something that my adoptive parents did or didn't do. Its just a decision I've come up with that would be better for me in my opinion. I am 15 and I AM adopted. I was reading this article in hopes for some insight. I have maintained a relationship with my birth family and have continually visited them for periods of time. On my last visit I realized something. I didn’t want to come back to my family. I had always known my adoptive life was better for me but as I grew up and matured I realized that they AREN’T my “real” family and to me they never will be. My birth family asked me to stay and I am trying to figure out the legalities of it. Someone told me I had to be 16 and get papers signed by my adoptive parents and then I can live with them. If ANYBODY knows the answer to this it would be greatly appriciated because I truly want to live with my birth family. Its not something that my adoptive parents did or didn’t do. Its just a decision I’ve come up with that would be better for me in my opinion.

]]> By: Karen Rehwinkel http://www.threeyellowroses.com/2011/02/02/using-the-adoption-card/comment-page-1/#comment-9046 Karen Rehwinkel Tue, 08 Feb 2011 05:26:11 +0000 http://www.threeyellowroses.com/?p=785#comment-9046 My daughter is 13. She has been playing the birthmother card since she was about 10. She pulls it out anytime she gets in trouble for bad behavior. She says she wants to go live with her birthmother because I am a bad mom who never lets her do what she wants and I make her unload the dishwasher and empty her garbage cans on garbage pickup day. My standard reply whenever she screams at me that she wants to go live with her birthmother is "What makes you think she would tolerate this kind of behavior?" The problem with this situation is that it almost always leads to her saying tearfully "I just want to meet my birthmother. How come I can't see her? Why doesn't she want to meet me?" That's how I know that wanting to go live with her birthmother isn't really about getting away from me. Well, not usually. Kate's Mom My daughter is 13. She has been playing the birthmother card since she was about 10. She pulls it out anytime she gets in trouble for bad behavior. She says she wants to go live with her birthmother because I am a bad mom who never lets her do what she wants and I make her unload the dishwasher and empty her garbage cans on garbage pickup day. My standard reply whenever she screams at me that she wants to go live with her birthmother is “What makes you think she would tolerate this kind of behavior?” The problem with this situation is that it almost always leads to her saying tearfully “I just want to meet my birthmother. How come I can’t see her? Why doesn’t she want to meet me?” That’s how I know that wanting to go live with her birthmother isn’t really about getting away from me. Well, not usually.

Kate’s Mom

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