Back in 1997, I married my college sweetheart, P. After two years of marriage we tried to get pregnant. It quickly became evident that it was not going to happen naturally. Due to my diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PSOS), we endured three years of treatment. We did everything from Clomid up through In-Vitro-Fertilization (IVF). We did achieve pregnancy from a frozen IVF but it ended in a miscarriage. It took that drastic loss for us to realize we wanted to be parents rather than be pregnant.
Originally, P and I thought we would have biological children and then adopt internationally. But after our miscarriage we desperately wanted to experience a newborn. By then it was 2002 and we finally attended a local adoption support group to learn about what it took to adopt. Quickly, P and I realized that all of our conceptions of domestic adoption were false. It was completely possible to adopt a healthy newborn quickly in the United States.
After researching state adoption laws, we decided to adopt through Texas. We decided on an agency and completed our homestudy and profile within five weeks. Three weeks later we got “The Call” that we had been selected by potential Birthparents. We talked to the Birthparents via the phone for the remaining two months of the pregnancy and traveled to Texas to meet them. Luckily for us, it was a scheduled Cesarean so we were present for our Son’s birth. I was actually in the operating room and saw his first breath of life! That is an experience I thought I had given up by choosing adoption. That sweet baby, called K, is now an active boy and started Kindergarten in Fall of 2008.
For our second adoption, we chose to use the same Texas agency. It was 2004 and we expected another quick adoption. Nine months passed by before we were selected by Birthparents. For two months we communicated with them and traveled to Texas to spend time with them. It seemed like a good situation but when the Birthmother went into labor, she called me and told me that they decided to parent. We were devastated. Then almost three months later, on Valentine’s Day of 2005, we got a call from our agency saying that a little girl was born the day before and we were selected to be her parents. Within hours the three of us were on a plane heading to pick up our new Daughter, called I. For her adoption, it was a 13 month wait with many bumps but it was completely worth it.
P thought our family was complete but I did not feel the same. Since the wife must be happy, we pursued a third adoption in 2007. Again, we used the same Texas agency. We didn’t have any expectations on how long or how difficult this adoption wait would be. We were prescreened for quite a few situations over many months but none of them seemed right for our family. In March 2008, after nine months of waiting we got a call from the agency informing us of a little boy who was born the day prior and we were selected to be his parents. We then drove, with K and I, non-stop for 14 hours to meet our new Son, called B. He fits in perfectly with our family and now we know we are complete.
Thanks to the amazing process of adoption we finally have the family we wanted. Sure, our kids don’t have our genes but honestly, I don’t think P and my genes could have created kids as cute as my three. P and I are Caucasian and my children are all full Hispanic. I just adore their tan skin, black hair, and beautiful dark eyes. I don’t mind being a living advertisement for adoption because I love telling people my story when asked. If I can give hope to those who feel the process of adoption overwhelming then the stares and comments about my family are worth it.
Since 2004, I have been the official leader of the monthly Adoption Support Group that lent me the much needed support through my adoption journey. I have enjoyed seeing so many wonderful families open their minds and hearts to adoption. This in turn has brought them the child that was always meant to be theirs.
The non-for-profit organization that oversees the Adoption Support Group is called Infertility and Adoption Support, Inc. (IAS). I volunteer for them quite a bit and have served as the President since 2007. Giving back to my community is definitely one of my favorite things.
Most of my time is spent with my family. I am an at-home parent and enjoy it immensely. There are definitely difficult times when I want to pull my hair out because there is a ton of chaos. But with three young children to care for, I wouldn’t expect anything different. What matters is that at the end of the day I am extremely grateful that my hard work to form my family was successful. I love my children with all of my heart and nothing can change that.
I love discussing adoption and passing along my experience and knowledge onto others entering the world of adoption. Therefore, I hope through this website, I can pass along some advice and wisdom that I’ve learned from being an adoptive parent, leading my support group, attending adoption conferences and keeping up on current adoption news.