It’s the holiday season and that means for most, it’s time for gatherings with co-workers, friends and family. This is the time when you can forget all of your troubles and be merry, right? Not always true. If you are just beginning the adoption process or waiting to adopt, the holiday season can be difficult. First of all, the holidays are child-focused. That means commercials, songs, and shows are geared around children and their parents. Second, at get-togethers people may ask you uncomfortable questions you don’t want to answer. “So when are you two going to start your family?” “How much longer is your adoption wait?”

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“I don’t know why they have to do a criminal background check on you.” “Doesn’t it take years to adopt a healthy baby?” “Can’t you just go to Haiti and adopt one of the children from the earthquake?” “Why must the birth mother pick you? Shouldn’t you pick her, since you’re paying the money?” “Why are you wanting to ask the birth parents their opinion on baby names? He’ll be your baby!” “How come you still have social worker visits, after you have your child?” “Why do you want to remain in contact with the birth family? Aren’t you worried about confusing your child?” “Why does it cost so much to adopt?”

Some of these questions may have been ones you’ve heard, or eventually will hear as an adoptive or prospective adoptive parent. While sometimes these questions come from strangers approaching you at the drug store, odds are the most surprising and brazen questions will come from your loved ones. It would be easy to give an annoyed look at a stranger and simply walk away. But if you’re preparing your Thanksgiving meal and your Dad asks, “How will you know if the biological mom is lying, by saying she hasn’t done drugs? Haven’t most of them had drinks during their pregnancies?” it is a lot harder and even less desirable to walk away and avoid answering.

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So if you are going to adopt, are you ready to take some risks? Sure there are the obvious risks like selecting an agency or picking a country to adopt from. But what about the smaller risks which you may not be expecting? It’s impossible to be prepared for ever adoption situation which may arise as every adoption is unique. But it’s not a bad idea to reflect upon some possible scenarios where you may have to risk money, your heart or when you first meet your child.

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